The Low-Demand Year: Why Resolutions Shame ADHD Brains (+ My 2026 “Systems Over Goals” Plan)

It’s late December, which means the internet is already screaming at you to reinvent yourself.

You’re seeing 75-step morning routines and people with a weird amount of enthusiasm for waking up at 5am to journal about their intentions – hard pass.

And if you’re an AuDHD mom, you’re probably already feeling the pre-emptive burnout of looking at all of it.

You know exactly how this story ends. You get a burst of “New Year Dopamine,” buy that $80 planner everyone’s raving about, fill out three days with your best handwriting, and by January 14th, that planner has become a physical monument to your perceived failure, buried under a pile of unfolded laundry.

Here’s what your therapist probably didn’t explain: Resolutions rely on something called Goal-Directed Persistence – the cognitive ability to keep a long-term “why” in your head while grinding through the boring ass “how.” During my Master’s in Forensic Psychology, I learned to analyze behavioral patterns and how cognitive differences show up in real-world contexts. Since then, I’ve done a deep dive into executive function research – specifically how it works (or doesn’t, let's be honest) for neurodivergent brains. For many of us, that persistence function is wired completely differently.

That stuck-to-the-couch feeling when you KNOW what needs doing but can’t make your body move? That’s your executive function hitting its daily limit, bb. Bandwidth problem, not a personality problem.

📌 Pin this before New Year's Eve so you have an actual plan when everyone else is setting doomed resolutions.

Why Your Brain “No-Shows” for Resolutions

Resolutions are high-demand systems that need sustained executive function – which most AuDHD brains can’t consistently access.

In my dev life, I build systems. In my forensic psych brain, I map patterns. The pattern here is brutal: resolutions are asking your already-maxed-out cognitive load to do even more work. For free. In this economy.

You’re adding more tasks to a brain that’s already running at 105% capacity trying to remember where the baby’s favorite pacifier went (it’s under the couch, always under the couch).

When you set a resolution, you’re asking your brain’s exhausted project manager (executive function) to work overtime for no extra pay and also maybe organize a team-building event.

That project manager’s gonna quit. Probably mid-January. Probably while you’re sobbing in the Target parking lot.

The Low-Demand Year: A Different Approach

A Low-Demand Year means lowering the “entry cost” of daily tasks so your brain has actual energy left for joy instead of just survival.

For 2026, I’m fully opting out of the “New Year, New Me” cycle. Doing a Low-Demand Year instead.

This isn’t about doing nothing (though rest is valid, bestie). This is about reducing cognitive friction so you can actually live instead of white-knuckling through another performative productivity cycle.

Here’s what that looks like when you’re not performing for the algorithm:

1. Anchors Instead of Goals

Anchors are single, low-demand triggers that count as success whether you follow through or not.

A goal: “I will work out 4 times a week.”

An anchor: “I will put my gym shoes next to the bed.”

The anchor is the whole system. Put the shoes on? Cool, bonus level. Don’t put them on? You still hit the anchor. The shoes were there. That’s the entire win.

This is the developer part of my brain talking: reduce the number of decision points. Every choice you make taxes your executive function. Anchors eliminate the choice.

2. The “Minimum Viable Day” Audit

Your Minimum Viable Day is the absolute bare minimum required to prevent chaos. Everything else is optional.

For me, three things:

• Sink empty
• Baby fed
• Me hydrated

This is what researchers mean when they talk about the “mental load” of motherhood – the invisible project management running 24/7 in the background. Your Minimum Viable Day is you drawing a line in the sand and saying “this much, no more boss.”

Everything else is bonus.

When you define your Minimum Viable Day, you remove the decision fatigue of trying to do “everything” when your sensory battery is at 2% and there’s a weird smell coming from the couch.

I built a Mental Load Audit specifically to help you figure out what your actual non-negotiables are. Spoiler: it’s way fewer things than you think.

3. Externalized Brain Systems

Working memory for neurodivergent brains is unreliable. It's time to stop trying to remember things and build systems that remember for you.

Your working memory is a leaky bucket. Stop pouring water into it and expecting it to hold. You’re not “bad at life” because you can’t remember to email the pediatrician while mentally cataloging what’s in the fridge for dinner.

This is why I’m building a Low-Demand Notion System. These “productivity tools” are designed for neurotypical brains that don’t need seventeen alarms to remember to drink water.

Mine’s a recovery tool. It holds the lists so your brain doesn’t have to. Think of it like outsourcing your executive function to a database that doesn’t get tired or forget or have a meltdown in the cereal aisle.

Permission to Be Messy

Neurodivergent brains need flexible, forgiving systems – not rigid routines designed for neurotypical executive function.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “bad at being an adult” because you can’t stick to a routine, hear this: conventional advice wasn’t written for your brain.

You can have a messy system.

You can change your routine every three weeks when the novelty wears off (hellooo, dopamine-seeking behavior).

You can eat cereal for dinner on Thursdays because cooking felt like climbing Everest.

You can build a life that feels good to live instead of one that looks good in an Instagram grid.

Another resolution won’t save you. What you need is infrastructure that matches how your brain actually operates.

Let’s Build This Together

I’m currently building a Low-Demand Dashboard specifically for AuDHD moms who need systems that reduce mental load instead of adding to it.

The dashboard’s still in the messy prototype phase (because hi, life), but if you want to:

• See the research-backed logic I’m using to build it
• Get early access to the beta version
• Watch me work through the ugly behind-the-scenes of creating something for real brains

Here’s what you’ll get when the beta drops:

• A system that lowers your daily decision fatigue so you’re not constantly triaging in your head
• A realistic baseline for “good enough” that doesn’t require superhuman executive function
• The research + build notes behind every feature (because bb is a nerd and you might be too)

The beta’s gonna be a small, cozy group so I can actually respond to feedback without melting my own executive function.

You in?