Why You're Allowed to Hate January (And What to Do About It)

Real talk — if January feels like absolute garbage to you, that's not a character flaw. While everyone else is posting their manifestation boards and talking about "fresh starts," you're over here feeling like you got hit by a truck and nobody else seems to notice that January is legitimately the worst month. The collective optimism is exhausting when your nervous system is still recovering from December, the weather is miserable, and now there's also this implied pressure to be excited about reinventing yourself. You're allowed to hate this month, bb. Here's why it sucks and what actually helps.

January Is Sensory Hell

January isn't just "a little rough" — it's a full sensory assault for ND brains. You just survived the holiday season, which probably meant disrupted routines, family obligations, overstimulation, and your entire carefully-built structure falling apart for like three weeks straight. Now your brain is trying to rebuild that structure while also dealing with cold weather (which affects executive function), less sunlight (hello seasonal depression), and everyone around you having Big Loud Opinions about self-improvement.

From a forensic psychology perspective, what you're experiencing is routine dysregulation compounded by sensory overload. Your brain needs predictability to function, and January is the opposite of predictable — it's weather chaos, schedule shifts from holidays ending, and the added cognitive load of everyone else's energy demanding you match their enthusiasm.

And if you're autistic? The whole "new year, new you" culture is basically one giant unspoken social demand that your nervous system is absolutely screaming "nope" at.

The Invisible Demands of "New Year Energy"

The pressure to be excited about change is itself a demand, and demands are exhausting. Nobody explicitly tells you that you HAVE to set goals or be optimistic about the new year, but the expectation is everywhere. People ask about your resolutions. Your social media feed is full of transformation posts. There's this constant comparison happening where everyone looks like they have their shit together and you're just trying to remember if you showered this week.

For those of us with PDA (pathological demand avoidance), this ambient pressure feels like someone's constantly poking you asking "what are you gonna do better this year?" It doesn't matter that nobody's directly demanding anything — your nervous system picks up on the collective expectation and goes into resistance mode.

Surviving January Without Pretending

Lower the bar. Then lower it again. Then maybe let's lower it one more time. Your only job in January is to make it to February without everything falling apart. That's it. That's the whole assignment.

January-specific accommodations that actually help:

• Give yourself permission to do literally nothing after 7pm (your brain is done, respect that)
• Keep easy meals on rotation — this is not the month to try new recipes
• Decline January social events without explanation (your battery is empty, bestie)

Scripts for when people ask about your resolutions:

• "I'm focusing on maintenance this year" (sounds productive, means nothing)
• "Still figuring it out!" (vague enough to end the conversation)
• "Not really doing resolutions this time" (if you're feeling honest)

The goal is survival, not thriving. You can thrive in like March when your nervous system has recovered.

Focus on what you can actually control right now. Start with the Mental Load Audit to see what's draining you so you're not just white-knuckling through January with no plan.